The Day Love Won

June 26, 2015 Facebook was covered with the hash tag #LoveWins   This was the day that the SCOTUS made a decision, ruling 5 to 4, to make same-sex marriage legal. And all over Facebook profile pics turned rainbow color, for those that were in joy over this decision.

The picture to the side is the one I finally decided to post. Because, I do believe we should love all people, and I do have many gay friends that I want to show that I love them... I support them, but I don't support the ruling. So when I read this article, The Day That Love Won, I was inspired!

This may seem contrary, to say I love my gay friends and I want them to be happy (I even want them to have legal equality) but then to turn around and say I am not happy about marriage being defined as anything but "between one man and one woman." And I assure you I understand your point of view! I have been on both sides of the fence on this issue. Oh... yes! It's true. And that may surprise many people. I clearly see the equal rights side, and can understand it as part of the human rights movement. I also have studied Scripture thoroughly and have come to an understanding of this issue from a morality standpoint.

A little background, I grew up in a Christian home. My Dad was a Pastor of a non-denominational church and we were raised in a very conservative home. I accepted Jesus into my heart at a very young age. As a teenager my parents divorced, but that just made me cling to my faith more and to seek Jesus more in my life. I studied and memorized scripture with fervor. In fact I was angry with my Father for allowing the divorce to happen. After all Jesus adamantly preached against divorce, except if there was infidelity. He took the OT laws of the Bible and made the even MORE strict! Saying that any person who remarries after a divorce commits adultery! (Wow. Harsh.) And that was coming from Jesus!

Through the late 80's and early 90's homosexuals were seen as the bad guy, and the cause of the AIDS epidemic. They were vilified. I didn't know any better. I was young, and I believed everything I was told by the right wing conservatives. I was naive. At least as I grew up I always showed love and compassion towards people that were different than me, had different beliefs, or that were gay. I didn't think to hate them. I knew, as Christians, we were called to love all people, most of all our enemies! In fact this is the most well known teaching of Jesus, and most often quoted back to a Christian by others who feel judged by them.

Matthew 22:36-40(NIV)

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Fast forward to about a year after I was married. I met a gay man at my work place. He was funny, I liked him a lot. We had a lot in common, actually. He knew I was a Christian so he kind of held back his jokes around me, I could tell. But over time we became friends and he learned he could "let it all hang out," so to speak. He was himself, and we got a long great! As we got to know each other I learned that he also seemed to have the same faith in Jesus as I did! It didn't shock me to meet a gay person (this wasn't my first "gay" friend). Nor did I have a problem being friends with anyone that believed differently than me (still don't). But when I realized he may be a "Gay-Christian" my mind was blown away. I didn't think that was even possible!

So we talked, and talked.... and talked. And I racked my mind trying to figure this out. I was thinking, "Could I be wrong? Is there something I am missing in the Scriptures? Are we mis-interpreting or missing something?" So I set out to find answers. I did this because he was hurting, and my beliefs were part of that pain. I felt compassion for his plight, and I wanted to know if I was wrong.

I searched for these answers for about 10 years! I found people on all sides of the subject. Pastors on both sides of the fence, even a South African Lesbian Pastor who was married (met her through Facebook) who shared with me some different interpretations of all the famous "clobber verses." Including the story of Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19), the Old Testament laws in Leviticus 18:22 and Leviticus 20:13. And the most controversial verses in the New Testament, Romans 1:26-27 and 1 Timonthy 1:8-11.

I even went with my "Gay-Christian" friend to see a showing of a movie called, "For The Bible Tells Me So" that expands on those interpretations. (I even bought it, so I could study what they shared!) I also have a brother who became an Episcopalian priest who was also sharing with me these view points. I won't re-hash them all out here. At this point these views are pretty readily available if you search You Tube for "Matthew Vines" you will find it all pretty quick. He is trying his best to get the church to re-interpret scripture to accept the gay lifestyle and not call it a sin. ("Lifestyle," a word that would irk my gay friends. Because as the best they can put it, they "simply are." There is no choice in the matter. It is a state of being.) Vines argues, as long as they aren't sleeping with anyone outside of marriage, and are in a committed monogamous relationship, they should to be allowed to be married. This was also the sticking point to me. Because if we throw all the sexual sins in one big pile we can pretty much narrow it down to this: Sex outside of marriage is a sin. And if one could be married to the same-sex then this issue would all be resolved. And I wanted answers. Would God ever bless same-sex marriage? Is it possible?

EDIT: June 2021- Before you read on please go to my post: Let Love Lead I have done some further research and come to conclusions that make the next part of this post not relevant to read. (You may read it. But then head over to "Let Love Lead" next to find out what happens.)

I am sure many of you would find the arguments fairly convincing, as I did. The only problem I found is this: we are changing some qualities about God that simply put, don't change. It also puts into question the infallibility of the Word of God.

God may not clearly spell out what a homosexual is, in the Bible. Nor does he ever really clearly distinguish between one who sleeps with someone of the same sex in lust and one who does so out of love. But God did do something very clearly in the Bible, define marriage. God so clearly defines marriage that even though the verses on homosexuality don't answer a lot of the questions that have arisen in today's society, you really can't question where He stands on marriage.

So, when it all came down to it I had a decision to make. And its a decision we all must make. Am I going to continue to believe that God is the author of the Bible? Well, if I believe these verses the answer is a clear and emphatic, "YES!"

2 Timothy 3:16-17 "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

And from Jesus' own mouth:

Matthew 5:17-20  Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

And then there is this piece of Scripture that really hits me:

2 Timothy 4:3-4  For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 

I was seeking anyone that would tell me what my "itching ears" wanted to hear! I so desperately wanted to believe it. I so desperately want to believe that my friend can exist as both "gay" and "Christian" at the same time. And as I ponder that thought, in some ways that is possible and in some ways not.

Possible, in the sense that we are all a work in progress. 1 John 3:2 says, "Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is." Not one of us has been perfected... Not YET, at least. One day we will stand before our Savior and it will all fall into place. Until that day we will live in a constant state of struggle with our flesh and the world tugging at us to return to our ways.

Not possible in the sense that I fear he has walked away from his faith to be in this relationship with a man who hates Christianity, for many reasons. (Many of which I can understand. I mean, after all, there is so much hate said and done in the name of Christ. Which is horrendous. And something to touch on in a separate blog).

I just keep pleading with him to not let go of his faith in God, and reminding him Jesus loves him and so do I. Because what I know for certain is that Christ died for ALL! And John 3:16 says so! I think his relationship could be a stumbling block. But also, that it doesn't have to be. (And I won't even make the assumption as to what God would ask of him and his partner to do if they were to both turn to him and seek after God together, offering their relationship to him. Fully and completely surrendering to God and his will for their life. I would love to see what the Holy Spirit does in their hearts! Where he could lead them! How much love could expand, and grow, and shatter our perceptions... If they sought God as their #1 together. Could be life changing for them and for those of us who watched their transformation in Christ. What amazing things God could do! I can't even fathom.)

You may be wondering why I seek these answers so fervently. Why? Because I love my friend, and I saw him hurting so deeply. He is in a relationship (a marriage) with a man that he loves very dearly. I can tell that they are each other's world. And the love I see there is akin to the love that exists in my own marriage. They are best friends. Been there for each other through the rough times and the good times. And I felt bad, to tell someone that they can't have what I have. And not understand the "Why not?!" part of it. How can I ask that of them. Why would God ask that of them? To stop being in that "state of being" ...in that definition of who they say they are. In order to be something else? Well, yes. In order to follow Christ and be in the center of his will.

And this is why I feel that it makes sense. First of all, they are called to a NEW state of being! We all are! 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" It fits with Scripture in so many other ways, as well. If you read what Jesus says about giving your life up for Him, and read about becoming a new creation in Christ Jesus, about laying it all at His feet in surrender, about the transformational power of God... then I am limiting God if I say this is impossible to enter into a new state of being!

Read Mark chapter 10, Jesus talks to his disciples about salvation. Mark 10:27 says...

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

Bottom line, this isn't a marriage issue. It is a heart issue. It is a salvation issue. 5 Supreme Court Justices may just have re-defined marriage in America, but God's word never changes. And we can not un-do what has been written or re-interpret scripture to make ourselves feel better or to approve of a life that God has not created us to live.

And as the picture I made for my Facebook pic states, #LoveAlreadyWon ... Over 2,000 years ago! The day Jesus died on the cross, the day he was buried, and then the 3rd day that he rose again... LOVE WON! Love won over our sins, and salvation became ours for the taking! All sins past, present and future... GONE! And all you have to do is accept it.

Romans 10: 9-13 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Call on Him today.