Counting My Blessings

On 4/22/17 I put on a walk for people going through grief. I called it the "Journey to Hope" walk. It was held at Yorba Regional Park in Anaheim, CA. And we walked around the paths that wound around the lakes there. It was just under 2 miles long.

The money raised from the walk, and a virtual 5k, will be used to support Grief Share programs. Either to supply books to churches that already have a program, or to start a new Grief Share class at a church that wants to purchase the program. (To find out how your church can receive these donations please email: journeytohoperace@gmail.com)

NOTE: I will have virtual 5k medals available until the end of 2017, or until I sell out... whichever comes first. This is the reg link: Journey to Hope Virtual 5k

This blog entry is to record all the amazing things God planned for this date, 4/22/17. Even though I made some of the plans, God had some of His own. And I was blown away by the outcome!

Proverbs 16:9 "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps."

There were many decisions to make. Some of the hardest were the location, the date, and the time. I looked at several places and priced out the venues. I checked out one location, and it seemed perfect, until I found out it would cost $5000 to rent! Then I found another seemingly perfect location, it had a USATF certified 5k course all planned out, and I could do the 5k and the walk there! But that was $500. Better, yes. But also a bit farther from where I live. I was concerned that the people that I know, and would want to attend, may be turned off by the distance they had to travel to get there. 

One day I was talking to a running buddy of mine during a run, and I told her about my trouble finding a course location. She puts on a lot of 5k fundraisers for charities, so I was also using her as my guru for all things event planning. She said very casually, "Why don't you just do it at Yorba Linda Regional?" And I was like, hmmmm.... maybe I should check it out. And then she said I should do it in Spring, around the time when Easter was just ending. Good thinking.

By this point I had dropped the timed 5k race idea, #1 because the cost of the timing company didn't make sense. And #2 the ideas I had for the signs along the course really didn't fit with a timed race. #3 I knew that I needed to focus on those that NEEDED this walk. Those in grief. And not the runners trying to run as fast as possible through it. So I made the 5k option "virtual" instead. Which means people could buy a bib and a medal and run wherever and whenever they wanted (and as fast as they wanted). Even if they lived in another state!

So I looked up the cost of renting a shelter, and it was $200 for a 150 person shelter. They had a 300 person shelter, but it was already rented all the days in April. But Shelter #1 was available, a 150 person shelter. And I thought, "It's doubtful I will have 300 people at my first event. But 150 seems reasonable."  I went to the park to scope the location of the shelter out, and walked around. It just felt right in my bones. It was peaceful and beautiful.

Before renting the date for 4/22/17 I talked to a gal at work about my struggle to pick a date. She opened up the calendar and talked it out with me. We figured out when Spring breaks were, and when Easter was, and decided that the 22nd sounded good. And once we she said that date she said, "That's actually the anniversary of my Mom's passing." I got chills. And I said, "I think that should be the date then." And $200 was doable! So I went ahead and rented the space.

Another big decision was the time. I settled on an evening walk. I thought, "Sad people don't want to get up at 6am for a walk on a Saturday!" And then I thought, "A sunset ceremony at the end of the day would be pretty!" So I chose 4pm to sunset.

After the location, date, and time were set it was time to get the registration page going and to get the word out. This was difficult. I work full time, and this was just a side gig for charity. I was alone in the planning, even though I had some great ears to bend when I had to think things through. But all the calls, the plans, and the decisions I had to make on my own. And by relying on God to direct my paths. (I prayed and asked for prayer over everything!)

As the date for the walk approached I had only 20 people signed up. So many things were happening that same day! Person after person told me about events, and school obligations, and sports obligations, and parties etc... I was getting frustrated! I had to cut some ideas out because of costs (like t-shirts for the walkers). And I had no idea how I would pay for the signs I wanted to post along the walk ways. And then there was food! And the closing ceremony! How was that going to be taken care of with only 20 people registered?! I freaked out. I was going to cancel altogether. And then one of my prayer warriors asked how many I had signed up. I said 20 and she said, "That's great!" I guess its all about perspective ;)

I also talked to my boot camp instructor about getting people signed up for the virtual 5k. And NO ONE had signed up. I was frustrated. And he told me, "Every one signs up last minute. Don't give up." And then he said, "If only one person's life is changed by your event, then it was worth it." He was RIGHT! I was floored that this wisdom was being given by my BOOT CAMP instructor! I mean, he's great and all, but that was amazing that he saw the event as something that could change a life! And if he could see that, then I needed to act like that was the case as well. This was too important to give up on. This was God's plan, I was just following His calling. Two ladies I spoke to also had told me, "This is a meant to be kind of event. It will all work out." I just needed to keep the faith! They were right. Even if I broke even and didn't have any money left to donate to Grief Share, if I helped others, that is all that mattered.

Next I had to come up with an idea for the signs, it cost around $13 to make a sign. I wanted 50, but didn't have any money to spend on them. Then I thought about putting a "Sponsored by" sign underneath and asking for sponsors to make a $15 donation per sign to get their logo/ business name on it. I told another gal at work about needing sponsors and she said she would sponsor a sign! I was like, "Interesting. I guess I could put the name of a loved one that has passed under the sign instead of a business name." And she loved the idea. And then another three gals at worked also loved the idea, and before I knew it I had 5 signs that day! I started to share this sign dedication idea on social media and at church, and people were hopping on that faster than any other idea I had! So amazing! I decided that no sign would be paid out of my pocket or the reg fees. Whatever the Lord provided, that's how many I would put up. And in the end I had 33! And 33 ended up being plenty. Here is an example of what the signs looked like. This one was for my Mom.

I also got a few sponsors that I would like to thank for their donations: Blessed Seasons Photography (who also gave me images to use), as well as Ryan Luna Photography (who provided images and sponsored signs), Succulents are for Sharing, College Works Painting, and John Luciano (a non-professional photographer who donated images).

Then for food I decided to drop the food truck plan ($1500 for a food truck was not in the budget). And I asked the head Deaconess at my church for help. She hopped right on it and got some pasta salad, fruit, and pizza handled, as well as offering $100 from the Deaconess fund. I decided I would have my husband Bar-b-cue some hot dogs, and get some waters and juice boxes, and that would be enough. We planned for 35 people. Done!

Lastly I had to come up with a closing ceremony. I couldn't do candles, like I had wanted. That wasn't allowed at the park without additional insurance. So I wanted to do something else. Another gal at work brainstormed with me and came up with a flower ceremony. And I loved it! So I decided to ask my neighbor, who has a flower shop locally, The Flowery in Villa Park, to donate 35 to 50 white carnations. She agreed. Done!

Location, date, time, signs, food, ceremony... it was enough to put the Journey to Hope walk on. Not fancy. But good enough! A few items purchased at the dollar store to cover the tables etc. And I was done.

As the date approached my pilot husband started to wonder if he would have to work that weekend. To take the stress off him and myself I decided to skip the hot dogs. Actually, I was at work and we got a couple trays of tacos for the office to have lunch, delivered for a guest visiting from corporate. I looked at the spread and thought, "This could feed 35 people! I wonder how much this cost?" I asked the receptionist and it was all around $165. And due to having those other sides provided by the Deaconess at church I decided I didn't need the rice and beans on the side, just a pile of tacos would be great! So I placed the order and for $100 I had 48 tacos and delivery was $12!

So those were MY plans. And my worries over money, and location, food and number of participants. By the time the walk started I had about 35 people signed up. Including my family.  What happened the day of the event is going to blow you away!

First, let me share this. I was looking for a vase for the flowers I would be getting. And then decided to go pick them up, and figure it out later. When I picked up the flowers from the florist, she told me she had 70 in a vase for me! I was blessed that I no longer had to worry about a vase, and then I said, "I only have 35 people and not 50, so I guess everyone will just get 2. Thank you!" Little did I know...!

Then it was time to set up the shelter. See the photo below? I am in blue and a white baseball cap. The people I am with are the Byrd family. They were setting up at the shelter at 1pm when I pulled into the parking lot. I was with a lady from church, my friend Melissa, that came to help me set up the course and decorate the shelter. We walked up to them and told them I had rented the shelter for an event. They apologized and started to gather their belongings to move. I told them there wasn't a hurry, my event didn't start for a few hours. But at 4pm I would have people coming to participate. And they were very polite, "We will get out of your way. No problem."

And as they were starting to pick up their lawn chairs and gather their things I asked one lady, "So what are you gathering for? To celebrate a birthday, or...?" And she said, "We are here because two Aunties died recently. And we just wanted to meet for a time of comforting and to be together." And I said, "Wait! That is why I am here!" I looked at my friend Melissa, and we both had goose bumps. My voice cracked as I explained the event, and that it was open to the public. I told her to stop her family from leaving, that I wanted them to stay. The woman said, "I don't want to intrude on your event. That is okay." And I insisted they must ALL stay. 

Soon people from her family were walking up one by one telling me they would be leaving soon, and I told them what I was doing and how they MUST STAY. I wanted them to. They were blown away, and accepted my invitation. We agreed this was a God ordained thing. A Divine appointment. I said they could just do what they were doing, it wasn't starting for a few hours. I was just arriving early to set up the course.  

Here is a crazy thing too, once they started carrying their stuff back to the shelter one gentleman asked, "Are you using the bar-b-cue?" And I smiled, "No, no I am not." They set up on the side of the shelter by the BBQ and the rest of the tables were left open. 

Also, there were about 35 of them, at least. And I thought to myself, "Now I know why I got 70 flowers today!" God knew this family would be there! April 22nd, at Yorba Regional Park, at 1pm. As they arrived, I arrived. A walk for grief, and a family grieving. God is AMAZING! 

Once the walk started about 15 or so of them came over and accepted a bib, no charge, and did the walk with us. I guided a few of them personally with the music playing from a Bluetooth speaker, playing songs I had selected for the walk. Here is the playlist link: Journey to Hope 2017 Spotify Play list  And they followed along. 

Here are some of the signs along the paths that day, and the walk participants:

One of the women told me they were her Aunties that passed. And we walked and talked along the paths. She was so sweet and we were so abundantly blessed to be there together. We both agreed God had ordained that day, that shelter, that time etc... for them to be there to meet me and to be a part of this walk for grief. The woman in Pink (center photo above) was the one that I was talking with, I think she said her name was Shirley, I am bad at remembering names, but I will never forget her. 

At the end of the walk I held the flower ceremony with music. Melissa sang "I am not alone" by Kari Jobe, accompanied by another friend from church, Jodi Spangler, on her guitar and with harmonies. I added a few vocal harmonies here and there. The family joined us for this part as well, and they took the flowers and we placed them in a vase to show how we are not alone. We are in this journey together. We have God, and we have the community of others that grieve. We understand each other. 

We who grieve need a space where we have the freedom to remember and honor our loved ones. And that is what the "Journey to Hope" walk provided. A calm and serene space in which to remember, to talk, and to grieve. But there was a feeling of joy and peace that day. Not one of gloom! People were smiling. We had joy in our hearts, and were comforted. 
I was in awe by what God had done. After all my fretting over how many were coming, or not coming, or the cost of things etc. None of it mattered at this point. God had a plan! 

On that day alone, $200 was raised for the charity, Grief Share. www.griefshare.org. I am truly blessed by everyone's generosity. Such a beautiful day! And thus far total I have raised $350 to donate to local churches, to support Grief Share programs. I hope that through the virtual 5k we can raise another $500 to $600! 

I may have not raised thousands, but it was a good start. The most important part was accomplished. God used it for the purpose that He had intended it for. To encourage others and bring glory to Himself. I am glad I didn't give up, when so many times I was tempted to.Many that attended said they want to do this again next year. And many that were not able to attend, due to other things going on that same weekend, also would like to attend the next one. I am going to move it over one week to see if that helps. I definitely plan to do this again! And I look forward to what God does with it, as the event grows over the years.

Many people told me they loved the peaceful setting at the park, and the non-rushed atmosphere. Unlike most 5k races, this was peaceful and quiet, not a lot of loud pumped up music, sponsors, vendors, and noise. We just had a wonderful time fellowshipping and remembering our loved ones together.

Biology 101

There are topics that I write on once in a while, that are non-running related. And I don't do it that often. But when I do, it's something that I passionately believe in. Something I feel needs to be said! Some times we have to speak up. Sometimes, it is required of us, as believers in Christ.

“Stand up for me against world opinion and I’ll stand up for you before my Father in heaven. If you turn tail and run, do you think I’ll cover for you?” Matthew 10:32-33 The Message Bible

I have been on a political posting fast on Facebook, and my blog, since February. And life has been peaceful. And if I do post something, I tend to regret it due to the little Facebook arguments that break out underneath my post. Often, the arguments are not worth my time. Nor do I want them happening on my wall or under my posts. So, I delete the post! Problem solved.

Well, this is a topic that I feel needs to be talked about. Californians need to let their voices be heard. We can't stand on the sidelines with our mouths agape, in shock at the scene unfolding before us. And then go ranting over it, after all is done and we have no more say about it. The time is NOW to act! The time is NOW to show our indignation.

There is a bill that is being voted on in California. I am a Californian. I do not support this bill. I wrote my Senator, and those heading the committee voting on this bill. I am not a political activist. This is not something I typically do. But I feel this bill is taking things too far. It's called SB179. The bill lets anyone change their gender on a driver's license or a birth certificate to male, female, or non-binary. No questions asked. No physical proof necessary. Check this article out: cfc-testifies-against-gender-change-bill

This was the first article that told me about the bill being voted on: bill-to-make-gender-a-personal-choice-in-hearing-tomorrow  In this article they state, "Under current California law, individuals can change their sex on their birth certificate, but they must make the request in person before a judge. Additionally, a doctor has to verify an individual is receiving gender transitioning medical treatment before making the change. SB 179 would remove both of these requirements. Choosing a new sex on a driver’s license will only require a person to check one of three boxes: male, female, or the new third gender option “non-binary” for those who do not want to identify as either sex."

Okay, so right now someone can change their sex on their birth certificate, but they have to talk to a judge first. I think this is a hair better than the new proposed law. At least someone is there to check your mental stability and rationalization behind the choice to do this. I suppose some people have gone through sex changes and appear like they are a woman, or a man, and would like their driver's license and birth certificate to reflect that. Now, I may not be "stoked" about this. But if someone really wants to do this, they already can. They just have to go see a judge, and make their case.

I would think the argument for changing the description on your driver's license makes the most sense. Because you now look like a man, or vice versa. But changing it on your birth certificate? Really? ...Why? For some sort of validation that how you feel is also reality? It's not reality. You want it to be your reality, you feel conflicted, and you don't want to feel that way anymore. And you think this will be the thing that sets things right in your life. Well, I will talk more on that later. But that is not the resolution to your conflicting feelings. (And yes, I do feel for you. I really do. I am not an insensitive person. But I am talking about laws here. Not feelings.)

This new law would let people choose what sex they want to be, based on how they feel. No questions asked. Sounds like a dream come true to a person going through "the change." Or transitioning. But to me it sounds ludicrous! Why? Because you can't change your biology!

A friend of mine even went to check out a biology book, just to see what kids are being taught in school these days. Perhaps times have changed! So she went to get the facts. She sent this image and said, "It's biology! Your chromosomes determine your sex." That is factual truth. The non-changing truth.


She posted this image and it's something we have all seen.  It's Biology 101 stuff here. If your chromosomes are an "XX" you are a woman, and if they are an "XY" you are a man.

Now, I know some people do not feel they are in the correct body. And as I said, I do have sympathy. I really do! People that have this internal struggle about their gender identity have a struggle that no human being wants to have. No one WANTS to feel like a man in a woman's body, or a woman trapped inside a man's body. I am sure this is torturous to them! I am not doubting that it creates anxiety. And there may be plenty to testify how a sex change operation helped them to feel more at ease with themselves, taking away the anxiety. And I am sure there are others that this did little to help (I have read on the topic, and there are studies that have shown this,)

If you have a personal story to share, I am sure you have been convinced that this was the best solution for you or someone you love. Because they seem to feel better! Or you seem to feel better! But the fact is, no matter what you wear or what you do to your genitalia, your chromosomes will not change. You can't change your biology based on how you feel! And we can't make laws based on a person's FEELINGS.

The law is not here to validate your feelings. It's not. We have been using laws to do this, and to justify our actions for too long. When is this going to stop?

This is akin to allowing a white woman to say she is a black woman! Remember that lady? Her name is Rachel Dolezal. Do you think that is insanity? "Come on," you think. "That's just ridiculous," you say. Does this comparison make you upset? Well, she headed up the NAACP for a while so I guess some people took her seriously at one point! If you don't know what I am talking about here is one article about  Rachel Dolezal here. There are plenty more you can find, if you Google her name. She is trying to claim that race is as fluid as some people claim gender is. And the transgender society doesn't like that at all. No? Really? Because her argument is very similar to yours! She is trying to say that her BIOLOGY does not match how she FEELS about who she is.  This is the SAME argument as the transgender argument, or the argument of "gender fluidity."

Doesn't it sound so open minded and wonderful to say that we can love whom we want, and have sex with whomever we want, and that our sexuality is fluid? And that gender is fluid? Well... then everything else about our biology is FLUID! Right? Where does the argument stop? Where does the line get drawn? Where you FEEL it should be drawn? When your gut doesn't FEEL right about it anymore? Then it's no longer right? That kind of logic is absurd! How can we make laws based on our feelings? And what if I feel you are wrong? How does that make me wrong and you right, and not the other way around? I am simply sharing my FEELings, after all!


The voice of reason, from the article I posted:

"While sympathetic to the difficulties of those experiencing gender dysphoria, California Family Council CEO Jonathan Keller has grave concerns about this bill’s impact."

“We believe government documents need to reflect biological facts for identification and medical purposes,” Keller said. “Secondly, the bill advances a falsehood; that being male or female, or no gender at all is a choice each person must make, not a fact to celebrate and accept. Laws like this will simply erase any meaningful gender definitions, if being male or female is completely divorced from biological facts.”       - Keller

Well said, Johnathan Keller.

This blog post is a call to action. Come on, Californians! Come on Christians! We need to speak the truth! We need to call our Senators! We need to stand for what is true, and right, and holy! The ONLY person that spoke out against this is a man named Greg Burt, the Director of Capitol Engagement for the California Family Council. And I thank the Lord this man was there speaking. But we need to let the committee know if we agree with him! Otherwise our silence shows we approve of this new law.

My name is Greg Burt and I’m speaking on behalf of the California Family Council.

The bill before you today marks a profound change in the way human beings have defined themselves since the beginning of recorded history. Previously, human beings by their very nature have been thought of as binary, either physically male or physically female.  This bill attempts to completely change this understanding. 

Today you are being asked to make a momentous decision regarding how our government will define sex and gender. There are only two real choices. Either one’s sexual identity or gender is a based on self identification or feelings, as the proponents of this bill believe, or it is based on biological facts. What is a male? What is a female? That is the question before you. 

It is our contention that the words  “male” and “female” describe biological reality and this reality should be listed on state identification documents.  “Male and female, He created them,” as the Scriptures say. But to be male or female is not simply a religious belief, it is a description of the human race that has been integrated in to the very definitions of the words. 

Look up the words “male” and “female” in the Dictionary and ALL you will find are physical descriptions. Our state driver’s licenses have always recognized this truth. Pull out your driver’s license and you will see that all the identification characteristics listed are physical descriptions. 

Eye color, hair color, height, weight, and Sex: These are all listed on a driver’s license because these physical characteristics can be independently verified by physical evidence, even if a person is unconscious. 

If you allow someone who is physically male to list themselves on a government document as a female, or vice a versa, then the government will be legalizing a lie. That’s assuming we are still using the dictionary to define what a male and a female is. 

As state senators, I know you think you are powerful, but you do not have the authority to simply change the meaning of words just because you want to. 

If you are trying to resolve the identity document difficulties of those who identify as transsexual, you would be better off removing sex as part of a person’s physical description on a driver’s license or a birth certificate. Otherwise you are knowingly letting citizens put false information on these documents. 

Senators, think about your own children. What did you tell them about their gender after they were born? Did you base what you told them on their physical characteristics or did you encourage your children to choose their gender based on how they felt? This is a rhetorical question, because I know what most, if not all of you, did. You exclaimed to the whole world with joy the moment your child was born, that you had a “boy” or a “girl.” And you did this completely and without hesitation based on the child’s physical characteristics. 

In closing, the California Family Council believes government documents need to reflect biological facts for identification and medical purposes. Secondly, we believe this bill advances a falsehood; that being male or female, or no gender at all is a choice each person must make, not a fact to celebrate and accept. Laws like this will simply erase any meaningful gender definitions, if being male or female is completely divorced from biological facts.

We respectfully ask you vote no on SB 179. Thank you.

Perhaps you want to live in a genderless society. Perhaps when your child is born you will say, 'I have a non-binary human!" And will wait until they are old enough to talk, so they can tell you if they are a boy or a girl, and then you will treat them accordingly. But that is not the world I want to live in. Nor is it the world I want to pass onto my children.

I want my children to be raised to be compassionate. To not bully others that look different than them.  To treat people with disabilities like people. Just people, differently abled then them. I want my daughter to be proud to be a woman, and to fight for her rights. And I want my son to be a leader in his home, but also a man that unapologetically loves his wife to his core, and would lay his life down for her. That is the world I want them to live in. A place filled with respectful, compassionate, kind individuals. But also a world that does not discard the truth, simply based on how one feels.

You know what you need? You know what we ALL need? A new identity in Christ Jesus! 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, the new has come!" Yes, you can have a new identity! Jesus wants to give you that identity!

There is also an interesting verse that says, "So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, NOR IS THERE MALE AND FEMALE, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise."

Wow. God gets it. Maybe we are all just longing for something that only HE has to offer us! But has also been there for the taking all along! A new identity. Neither male or female! If you are in Christ your identity is not found in your biology. It's not found in your race. It's not found in your status in society either. You are a child of God. Period. Once you decide to follow Jesus, and believe in him, that is where your identity is and where your freedom will be found!

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!

- John 8:36