In 2011 I started my running career 45 pounds lighter than I am now. I was able to run half marathons at a 10 minute per mile pace at my fastest, and 10:30 min per mile on average. I could run for several hours on end and completed 4 full marathons in under 6 hours. I ran one of those full marathons in only 5 hours and 20 minutes, which for me was pretty good. I also could run one mile at a pace of 9 minutes, or even a little faster! I never claimed to be the fastest runner, but I was a "runner" nonetheless.
Compare that person to me now. I am 45 pounds heavier than that runner in 2011, and am finding running even one mile difficult. I have been walk/ running through a mile for a while now and have only been able to push myself to run a full mile without stopping a few times. And when I do run the entire time I complete it in 14 minutes, not 9 like I used to. I have hiked 4 or 5 miles in this new heavier body, but that doesn't include a lot of running and took several hours to complete. I am happy I am able to do THAT at least. Hiking can be beautiful with all of nature and the sky to look at.
Lately though, I haven't been able to hike. We are currently in the midst of the COVID 19 virus scare of 2020. We aren't supposed to meet up in groups and we are to keep a distance of 6 feet between us and anyone in the outside world we may come across. I have friends that still will go outside for a run or hike alone, but I haven't been. My husband has read that the virus can hang in the air for several hours after someone sneezes or coughs, and he doesn't want me to inadvertently run through an area where the virus is hanging around and breath it in. And this is out of love, so I understand and respect his wishes. The treadmill has been my way to get a run in, and lately I have been doing workout videos for exercise.At least I have been starting to workout again. I wasn't doing too much of that for a while. I have been working out at least 5 days a week lately, and have felt that spark of passion rise up in me that was there before.
Back in 2011 I was going to a boot camp and exercising 5 days a week and got to my ideal weight. Then I was challenged to run my first 5k, and then my first half marathon. Then the fire in my belly stirred and I wanted to keep running halfs and then full marathons. As I wrote in my previous blog, I slowed down my running quite a bit in 2018/ 2019. Some weeks I ran only once, others not at all. And all the while my weight was creeping up on me. But I didn't care too much, I was focused on getting rest more than anything else. I just couldn't get myself out of bed at 5am anymore for a gym workout or a run. I was depressed and mentally exhausted.
So, here I am. On a new journey to find my passion again. Working out again 5 days a week has helped me feel more "normal." Or more like myself again. And who knows, maybe it will lead me back to that 5k, and then running half marathons again? Right now I don't want to sign up for any races. Definitely not until a mile is no longer a chore for me to run. I hope to get on that treadmill and work my way up to running a 5k without stopping once again. No breaks. And not feeling slow and sluggish either. It may take me a while, but I hope to get there sooner than later. And I hope that passion in my belly returns in the process. If not, then I hope a new passion for some other adventure presents itself. After all, I have been on journeys of self discovery before, and not all roads led to a marathon. hah :)
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